What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Anything Dane Cook says

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -45

KSI

thumb_up thumb_down -61

What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops