What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

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KSI

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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