A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Three women, a blonde a brunette and a readhead, jump out of an airplane without wearing parachutes. And this is why women should stay in the kitchen.

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A Weight loss service that works

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

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A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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