A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops