A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

Allie said yesssssssss!

KSI

A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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