roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

KSI

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

The term "serial killer" is a bit strong...i prefer "ghost manufacturer"

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't the dog say anything to the cat? It was born deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down

A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

69

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Quess what the trash man did today? He took my trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops