roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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Anything Dane Cook says

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 5 comfortably

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

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126

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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What is the priest favorite book? The Bible

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Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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Milk MILK MILK MILK M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M-I-L-K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K M_I_L_K What do cows drink? Water, and if you thought it was milk, your probably retarded.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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