What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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What's worse than breaking your leg? Finding out that your family has died due to an infection causing all of them to perish in horrible deaths

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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