What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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Whats 9+10? Well it's certainly not 21

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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