Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Anything Dane Cook says

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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How do you treat a homeless man? Like any other person, you disgusting fuck.

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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