Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

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How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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Anything Dane Cook says

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A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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