a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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69

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

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Three women, a blonde a brunette and a readhead, jump out of an airplane without wearing parachutes. And this is why women should stay in the kitchen.

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i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had 3 testicles

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Anti jokes SUCK!

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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