What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anything Dane Cook says

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Weight loss service that works

thumb_up thumb_down -95

69

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

thumb_up thumb_down +111

A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops