Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? Possibly because it saw some sort of reason to do so, and being a chicken. Doesn't see the danger in motor vehicles.

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What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

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What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

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What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops