Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

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What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

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what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Doug.

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how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

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What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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adam shagged katie lololol

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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Three women, a blonde a brunette and a readhead, jump out of an airplane without wearing parachutes. And this is why women should stay in the kitchen.

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i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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