Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Doug.

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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what do you call a retarded italian Niko

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What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

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A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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So a Jewish Family walks into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops