Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

Anything Dane Cook says

Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

A Weight loss service that works

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

Why do latins like soccer so much? Because it's a very popular sport in the whole world.

Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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