A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

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why is thus joke stupid? because it is! deal with it!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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