what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Evolutionarily destined to be eaten by a predator such as a wolf or coyote, barring haing a defense mechanism that allows it to fend off such attacks.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Anything Dane Cook says

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adam shagged katie lololol

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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What's black and white and red all over A nun falling down the stairs

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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