How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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KSI

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

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patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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Anything Dane Cook says

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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What did the stop sign say to the no smoking sign? Stop

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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69

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Someone said you sound like an owl Who?

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Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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Okay, then I am taking the last comment back then.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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