Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Doorknob.?/111111!!!!hrfuasdyfgasdkhfgawihbrtpaeyrgfai;yegf;gtf L Like or I will killl you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -133

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

thumb_up thumb_down -104

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +164

what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

69

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops