Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

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A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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69

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Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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