What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

Why did the chicken cross the road ? Possibly because it saw some sort of reason to do so, and being a chicken. Doesn't see the danger in motor vehicles.

What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

How do you treat a homeless man? Like any other person, you disgusting fuck.

A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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