Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

Allie said yesssssssss!

Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

Three women, a blonde a brunette and a readhead, jump out of an airplane without wearing parachutes. And this is why women should stay in the kitchen.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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