A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

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"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Doorknob.?/111111!!!!hrfuasdyfgasdkhfgawihbrtpaeyrgfai;yegf;gtf L Like or I will killl you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

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A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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What do you call a mexican riding a bike? A cyclist.

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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