A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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what did the guy who had unsafe sex get? A good time

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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7>6

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After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

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A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

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How did bob survive the explosion? He wasn't at the explosion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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KSI

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A Weight loss service that works

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What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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