Three women, a blonde a brunette and a readhead, jump out of an airplane without wearing parachutes. And this is why women should stay in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What items don't float? A school bus full of children

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

thumb_up thumb_down +76

How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you treat a homeless man? Like any other person, you disgusting fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops