Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Passing by

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down -117

What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than breaking your leg? Finding out that your family has died due to an infection causing all of them to perish in horrible deaths

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I black guy was walking down a street when he saw a beautiful women and said to her that she looked lovely

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

thumb_up thumb_down

Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Allie said yesssssssss!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops