Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

thumb_up thumb_down -104

A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why women like NBA players so much? Because they have money.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Wanna here a funny joke? Doug.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock knock who's there? A serial rapist, now open up. hmmm... Ok... 3 Days passed before they found the serial rapist dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops