Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? Possibly because it saw some sort of reason to do so, and being a chicken. Doesn't see the danger in motor vehicles.

Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

Doorknob.?/111111!!!!hrfuasdyfgasdkhfgawihbrtpaeyrgfai;yegf;gtf L Like or I will killl you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...