roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.....

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

thumb_up thumb_down +113

A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What do you call a man with no body, just a nose? Nobody Knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

thumb_up thumb_down +142

Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Starter clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Allie said yesssssssss!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a retarded italian Niko

thumb_up thumb_down

What items don't float? A school bus full of children

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops