"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

Passing by

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

Allie said yesssssssss!

What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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