Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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69

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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Doorknob.?/111111!!!!hrfuasdyfgasdkhfgawihbrtpaeyrgfai;yegf;gtf L Like or I will killl you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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A Weight loss service that works

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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