Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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How did bob survive the explosion? He wasn't at the explosion.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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What kind of cat has no tail? Manx cat

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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