what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? Possibly because it saw some sort of reason to do so, and being a chicken. Doesn't see the danger in motor vehicles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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How do you treat a homeless man? Like any other person, you disgusting fuck.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

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"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops