What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +92

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

thumb_up thumb_down +34

69

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Doorknob.?/111111!!!!hrfuasdyfgasdkhfgawihbrtpaeyrgfai;yegf;gtf L Like or I will killl you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -134

A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Today I looked at a clock and realized that I was late.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops