An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops