i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

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Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

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What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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