Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I get you a drink?" The robot replies, "No, I'm a robot."

How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

Allie said yesssssssss!

What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

Anti jokes SUCK!

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

Why did the chicken cross the road ? Possibly because it saw some sort of reason to do so, and being a chicken. Doesn't see the danger in motor vehicles.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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