How did bob survive the explosion? He wasn't at the explosion.

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"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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A Weight loss service that works

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

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What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

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Passing by

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i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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