What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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7>6

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

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A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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