"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

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Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

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What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

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Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

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Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

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7>6

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A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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