What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

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what did the guy who had unsafe sex get? A good time

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A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

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i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

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A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

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how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

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"An alcohol walks into a man. He is a family and is destroying the bar." Says the drunk man to the bartender who wrote it on Anti-joke.com.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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