If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did bob survive the explosion? He wasn't at the explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

thumb_up thumb_down +81

A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was young Timmy crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

thumb_up thumb_down -159

What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +126

How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops