What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

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"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

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What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

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What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

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Why did Hitler like his steak well done? Because like many people, he didn't like the sight of blood in his steaks.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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alert("The Game");

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

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After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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What's black and buried in my backyard? An African American, I'm a member of the Ku Klux Klan

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

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How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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Hello penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops