Why did they name the cat Salty? I have no idea, ask his owner

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the woman terrified of being screened by the TSA? Because she's embarrassingly obese, liked most Americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Starter clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Hello penis

thumb_up thumb_down -77

A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I get you a drink?" The robot replies, "No, I'm a robot."

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "one beer please." the bartender proceeds to go into shock as a duck just talked to him

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is the worst part about being a black Jew? Having to sit at the back of the gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a guy walks into a bar and finds an empty chair near the jukebox. He orders a drink and some peanuts and has a really good time listening to the music and drinking his beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

How do you treat a homeless man? Like any other person, you disgusting fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

adam shagged katie lololol

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops