A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

thumb_up thumb_down -46

ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did The chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

KSI

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Good for him. Thats wonderful!

thumb_up thumb_down -79

What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

thumb_up thumb_down -157

why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

thumb_up thumb_down +42

How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why is thus joke stupid? because it is! deal with it!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The NHL playoffs

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops