If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a retarded italian Niko

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

thumb_up thumb_down -111

69

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had 3 testicles

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Stephen Hawkings was ice skating on the Eiffel Tower... then he woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Have you ever heard of Yoda? From 'Attack of the Clones'?

thumb_up thumb_down -105

After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a mexican riding a bike? A cyclist.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's 6+2? 16

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops