Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

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a guy walks into a bar and finds an empty chair near the jukebox. He orders a drink and some peanuts and has a really good time listening to the music and drinking his beer.

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What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

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Have you ever heard of Yoda? From 'Attack of the Clones'?

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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Guess what happened when a man took off his jumper?? He became cold!

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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What do you call an German with a knife in his leg ? An ambulance as he has a serious leg wound and will soon die of blood loss

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i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

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Hello penis

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7>6

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A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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Passing by

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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