Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

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ok so what is big yellow and can not swim well dont look for the answer deuce bag

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KSI

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Hello penis

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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Whats worse than breaking your toe? Being raped

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

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why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

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How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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Why did The chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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Poverty.

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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