A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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what do you call a retarded italian Niko

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Passing by

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

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what happend when a blind guy tried to save a guy from a fire big mistake they both died

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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Why did the black man buy a gun?? He enjoys hunting legally

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Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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Doorknob.?/111111!!!!hrfuasdyfgasdkhfgawihbrtpaeyrgfai;yegf;gtf L Like or I will killl you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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