An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

how do you know a chinese person has been in your house? #1 your homework is done #2 your computer is upgraded #3 when you get home there still pulling out of your driveway

I black guy was walking down a street when he saw a beautiful women and said to her that she looked lovely

What's worse then ten dead babies being nailed to a tree? Being the one to take them down.

a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

Whats the difference between boyscouts and jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

So a Nazi walks into a bar full of jews, he ordered a drink and mumbled slures to himself.

Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

what happend when a blind guy tried to save a guy from a fire big mistake they both died

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What's 6+2? 16

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

what do you call a retarded italian Niko

What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

What is black and white and red all over. A blackboard.

What do you call two black guys on a bike? Unsafe operation of a bicycle.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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