a guy walks into a bar and finds an empty chair near the jukebox. He orders a drink and some peanuts and has a really good time listening to the music and drinking his beer.

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walked into a bar and had a great time because all of them worship the same God. (Obs: The imam ordered only soft drinks)

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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what does a black car sound like when it starts? RUN-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA -GRANT PARK ALL THE WAY

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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Rock, paper, scissors, ebola

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "one beer please." the bartender proceeds to go into shock as a duck just talked to him

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Dear diary, its day 230, the apple supply's are running low, the doctors are closing in, the dentists have been chanting "its time to go to the dentist" all day, I wont be able to hold them back much longer, help.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? Possibly because it saw some sort of reason to do so, and being a chicken. Doesn't see the danger in motor vehicles.

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how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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A Weight loss service that works

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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