How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling Kill him

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what has 9 legs, 4 feet and is orange? nothing.

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After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

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What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

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why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

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Whats stupid and has words? THIS JOKE!

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What is black and white and red all over. A blackboard.

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Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

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Rock, paper, scissors, ebola

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What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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What is it called when a male and a male are together. A relationship

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a pair of shoes and gloves

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who has no willy? robbie kearns

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walked into a bar and had a great time because all of them worship the same God. (Obs: The imam ordered only soft drinks)

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Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

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Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John loved pancakes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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