What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

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what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

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Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Getting aids from that apple.

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? A ride to a Concentrtation Camp.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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When is a door not a door? When its ajar.

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3 jews sits in a car. Who drives? Not Hitler.

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Have you ever heard of Yoda? From 'Attack of the Clones'?

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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y do churches have kneelers?, cuz it puts less stain on ur knees

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken!!!!!

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Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

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what happend when a blind guy tried to save a guy from a fire big mistake they both died

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Whats stupid and has words? THIS JOKE!

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops