what did the chicken say to the farmer? nothing, chickens dont talk.

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

Roses and red, Violets are blue, This type of poem, Must always rhyme.

So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

6

Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

What do the Japanese hate more than sitting in traffic? tsunamis.

whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "one beer please." the bartender proceeds to go into shock as a duck just talked to him

How can you tell which kids belong to Dolly Parton? From the strech marks on their lips :|

y do churches have kneelers?, cuz it puts less stain on ur knees

Why does the little boy play video games all the time? Because he is socially awkward and has no friends.

a dyslexic man can't spell a word, don't judge him

What do you call a man with no body, just a nose? Nobody Knows.

What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John loved pancakes

Poverty.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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