why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

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Roses and red, Violets are blue, This type of poem, Must always rhyme.

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Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

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what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

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So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

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whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

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6

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "one beer please." the bartender proceeds to go into shock as a duck just talked to him

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How can you tell which kids belong to Dolly Parton? From the strech marks on their lips :|

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y do churches have kneelers?, cuz it puts less stain on ur knees

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Why does the little boy play video games all the time? Because he is socially awkward and has no friends.

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Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

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What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

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What do the Japanese hate more than sitting in traffic? tsunamis.

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Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John loved pancakes

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Poverty.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

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a dyslexic man can't spell a word, don't judge him

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a pair of shoes and gloves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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