what did the chicken say to the farmer? nothing, chickens dont talk.

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What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

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Whats stupid and has words? THIS JOKE!

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whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

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Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

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What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

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Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a pair of shoes and gloves

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why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

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6

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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who has no willy? robbie kearns

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Q:What did the goat die? A: I dont know everything dies

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What is black and white and red all over. A blackboard.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling Kill him

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walked into a bar and had a great time because all of them worship the same God. (Obs: The imam ordered only soft drinks)

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

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Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

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Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John loved pancakes

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Your mom is so stupid, she decided to go back to school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops