how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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Q: if you spend more than 10 minutes on anti-joke.com, you will soon start to see some of the problems with the user experience. name some and propose solutions. A: Well, as you said, there are many. But a huge one is all the repeat jokes. The site could really benefit from some mechanism to identify repeat jokes.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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When is a door not a door? When its ajar.

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Once upon a time, there was a man named John. John loved pancakes

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There's a blonde, Brunette and a Redhead stuck at the top of a cliff. A genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish. The Brunette wishes she could at the bottom of the cliff, The redhead wishes she could be back with her children and the blonde would just love to be back to her family. :/

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

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Stephen Hawkings was ice skating on the Eiffel Tower... then he woke up.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

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what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? were both therapists.

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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who has no willy? robbie kearns

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Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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A boy eats 3 pounds of candy, 2 whole pizzas, and drinks 10 beers. Why did he puke? Someone came out of nowhere, and kicked him in the nuts

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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