What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a vampire? A Vampire Polar Bear.

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Q: What did one blind girl ask the other? A: Where are you?

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So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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Chuck Norris watches TV.

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What do you call a group of men terrible at their jobs? The Mets

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I Love You Jordan! P.S. from someone you know

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What did the hot rod say to the other hot rod Its hot in here

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A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

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A man walks into a bra, he is an alcoholic and is destroying his family

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Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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there are three dudes one is white, one is mexican, one is black so a wizard says wish of something you want to be and jump off the roof. so the white guy wishes to be and eagle and jumps off and is an eagle the mexican wishes to be an owl and jumps off an becomes an owl then the black guy wishes he had to shit and jumps off and falls to the ground cause he turns into shit.

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A boy eats 3 pounds of candy, 2 whole pizzas, and drinks 10 beers. Why did he puke? Someone came out of nowhere, and kicked him in the nuts

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What was the sadest part about the four blacks who drove off a cliff in a cadilac? -The car sat five

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Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

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whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

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There's a blonde, Brunette and a Redhead stuck at the top of a cliff. A genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish. The Brunette wishes she could at the bottom of the cliff, The redhead wishes she could be back with her children and the blonde would just love to be back to her family. :/

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what does a black car sound like when it starts? RUN-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA -GRANT PARK ALL THE WAY

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Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

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What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

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I used to write letters to Black people, then I got an arrow to the knee.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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