What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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What's worse than falling off your bike? Getting hit by a truck.

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So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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How did the gymnast fall off the beam? Got shot in the face

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so an american, a Hispanic, and a Indian walk into a bar in Washington D.C, and the bartender says to the american "I'm sorry, but u have to leave.

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what does a black car sound like when it starts? RUN-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA -GRANT PARK ALL THE WAY

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How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

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Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

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There's a blonde, Brunette and a Redhead stuck at the top of a cliff. A genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish. The Brunette wishes she could at the bottom of the cliff, The redhead wishes she could be back with her children and the blonde would just love to be back to her family. :/

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The NHL playoffs

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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-Knock knock. -Who's there? -Doctor. -Docter who? -Yes...

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

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What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

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How can you tell which kids belong to Dolly Parton? From the strech marks on their lips :|

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling Kill him

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walked into a bar and had a great time because all of them worship the same God. (Obs: The imam ordered only soft drinks)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops