whats cheese thats not yours? the one in the toilet.

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A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

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The NHL playoffs

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What do you call a group of men terrible at their jobs? The Mets

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So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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What did the hot rod say to the other hot rod Its hot in here

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken!!!!!

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Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

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What's worse than falling off your bike? Getting hit by a truck.

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How can you tell which kids belong to Dolly Parton? From the strech marks on their lips :|

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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Chuck Norris watches TV.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

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What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a vampire? A Vampire Polar Bear.

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a man walks into a bar..... OWW!!!!!!

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I Love You Jordan! P.S. from someone you know

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there are three dudes one is white, one is mexican, one is black so a wizard says wish of something you want to be and jump off the roof. so the white guy wishes to be and eagle and jumps off and is an eagle the mexican wishes to be an owl and jumps off an becomes an owl then the black guy wishes he had to shit and jumps off and falls to the ground cause he turns into shit.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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what does a black car sound like when it starts? RUN-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA -GRANT PARK ALL THE WAY

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What was the sadest part about the four blacks who drove off a cliff in a cadilac? -The car sat five

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How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

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whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops