How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

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Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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So, this guy walks into the doctor's and says: "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor says: "Yes, you've shattered both your kneecaps. You'll never walk again."

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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a dyslexic man can't spell a word, don't judge him

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who has no willy? robbie kearns

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Why did the retarded man jump off a building to commit suicide? He didn't try to commit suicide. He was mentally retarted and didn't know any better.

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Q: What did one blind girl ask the other? A: Where are you?

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how black is a black man? pretty black.

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Poverty.

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what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

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what has 9 legs, 4 feet and is orange? nothing.

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A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

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The NHL playoffs

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what did the kid say when he could not find his shoe? wheres my shoe?

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What's brown and sticky? Poop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? Literally an endless list of things.

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what do you do if you catch syphilis from a Swedish prostitute? seek the help of a medical professional.

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So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

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-Knock knock. -Who's there? -Doctor. -Docter who? -Yes...

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

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I used to write letters to Black people, then I got an arrow to the knee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops