Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +94

what did the chicken say to the farmer? nothing, chickens dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

there are three dudes one is white, one is mexican, one is black so a wizard says wish of something you want to be and jump off the roof. so the white guy wishes to be and eagle and jumps off and is an eagle the mexican wishes to be an owl and jumps off an becomes an owl then the black guy wishes he had to shit and jumps off and falls to the ground cause he turns into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a group of men terrible at their jobs? The Mets

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

what do you do if you catch syphilis from a Swedish prostitute? seek the help of a medical professional.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

-Knock knock. -Who's there? -Doctor. -Docter who? -Yes...

thumb_up thumb_down +67

The NHL playoffs

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the gymnast fall off the beam? Got shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +1

6

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I used to write letters to Black people, then I got an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the kid say when he could not find his shoe? wheres my shoe?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how black is a black man? pretty black.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats stupid and has words? THIS JOKE!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What do you do when there is a truck on the interstate? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

There's a blonde, Brunette and a Redhead stuck at the top of a cliff. A genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish. The Brunette wishes she could at the bottom of the cliff, The redhead wishes she could be back with her children and the blonde would just love to be back to her family. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Good for him. Thats wonderful!

thumb_up thumb_down -110

What did the man do after he found out his wife died in the Titanic? He cried.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A nigger looked up his family tree and a gorrila shit in his face

thumb_up thumb_down +11

?????????????????????? ????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ...?????????????????????????????? ?????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? you mad?

thumb_up thumb_down -77

How do you get a clown to stop smiling Kill him

thumb_up thumb_down +186

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops