What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

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John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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Comment is abusive and has been removed.

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Q: why are black people so good at basketball? A: because the can shoot and steal:)

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Christians pornstars.

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why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What do you do if you see a bleeding Mexican in your front yard? Quickly respond to the accident and supply the wounded victim with first aid.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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