Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

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How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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What did the devil say to the baby with four arms? I am evil.

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

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I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

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what does brb mean? ...be right back? ...ok hurry i need to know the answer.

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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Nothing yet CC

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9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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