Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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The priest, rabbi and Lady Gaga walk into a bar. Lady Gaga performs on stage, while the priest and rabbi listen.

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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Women's Sports

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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Smart Blondes

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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