#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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Penis.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

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What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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Society.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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