How do you kill a black guy With a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Oh. So his name's Brandon.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the man do with his bread He ate it

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what does brb mean? ...be right back? ...ok hurry i need to know the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Garry Glitters on here

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops