Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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haha, you're an orphan

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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The Irish man was sober.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Potato.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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