how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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"Media Zombies" Sounds like the Nero I remember.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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im a selling a car

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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Are you a human?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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