What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Bill: Did you hear someone said you sounded like an owl? Dave: Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Sorry boss

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

haha, you're an orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's a small person? A midget

thumb_up thumb_down +44

My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops