There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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