A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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Whats big, yellow and red? a school bus with a bunch of dead children.

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Canida

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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Q: You know what's better and funnier than reading all these jokes A: GLEE and thats like singing and dancing :p JK it HAPPy tree friends LOOK IT UPPP!!!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops