What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is big and white, not the moon CC

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

http://anti-joke.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue this poem makes no sense Potato

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops