Matty B

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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why was the man gay? because he likes men.

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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