How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Hey

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops