Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A fat boy walked into a party

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +26

yo momma so fat that she's fat

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

thumb_up thumb_down +26

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

thumb_up thumb_down +26

100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti-Joke Memes? That Shouldn't Be A Thing

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops