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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

how did the little girl die cancer

Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

What's a small person? A midget

My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

Penis.

And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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