Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

im a selling a car

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the frog fall out the tree it was dead. Why did the second frog fall out the tree it was stapled to the first frog. Why did the third frog fall from to the tree peer pressure. Why did the fourth frog fall from the tree the third frog was his son. Why did the fifth frog fall from the tree he thought it was a game. Why did the sixth frog fall from the tree he shared the same body with the fifth frog

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I ate a pancake for breakfast not

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops