what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +55

a man walked into a bar "ouch"

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

haha, you're an orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +47

why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The Irish man was sober.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

knock knock go away ok

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops