Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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Q: What did the twin tower say to the other twin tower? A: I'm falling for you.

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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