What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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Republicans

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George Bush does not care about black people.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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Jared Gough is a slut

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Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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Matty B

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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Women Voting

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Knock knock Come In.......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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