A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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what does brb mean? ...be right back? ...ok hurry i need to know the answer.

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Women.

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

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I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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Nothing yet CC

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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9/11

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roses are red, violets are blue, get in that bed or I stick your head down the loo! Christian grey

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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