Sorry boss

thumb_up thumb_down +53

How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: "What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?" A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

thumb_up thumb_down +39

If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops