Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

"Up to 50% off."

What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

Why? Because!

What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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