John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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Christians pornstars.

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Yes, finally caught that mouse!

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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Sorry boss

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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What's a small person? A midget

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What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Society.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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