Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

No it isn't.

have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

Woman's rights

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

whats retarded and looks like a fat duck? GEorge goodburn

'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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