Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

wanna hear a joke: women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl die? No one knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

thumb_up thumb_down

What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

thumb_up thumb_down

Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

thumb_up thumb_down

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops