Obama

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Hey

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I doubt it thought much about this. The chicken is a simple animal, and i doubt its actions were spurred by any particular motivation.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

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Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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A black guy with his family.

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whats da difference between a black people and grass. there both black except for the grass.

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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don't look behind you

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Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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