roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How much did the Holla Cost?

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops