My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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Do you want to hear a joke? To bad! :)

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There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

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Why do women hate getting shot? They die.

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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knock knock

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Obama

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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