Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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haha, you're an orphan

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot had a seizure.

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The Irish man was sober.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Potato.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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