A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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Why did the girl die? No one knows.

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a black guy and a hispanic are in a car. Whos driveing? The bvlack guys mom, picking them up from a church class, and takeing them to volunteer a the local homeless shelter.

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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asparagus

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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What happened to the boy who wanted to jump off a cliff? He jumped off a cliff.

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What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

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Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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