Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

ugh good riddance

what do you say when you see a winner weaner

Knock knock Come In.......

What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...