Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

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The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What is Earth made out of? Earth

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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My mom caught me masturbating.

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A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman

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What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Why was the pilot suspended from flight? He was the terrorist who caused 911. OUCHH

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knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

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What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

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Q: why are black people so good at basketball? A: because the can shoot and steal:)

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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