what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Q: What did the twin tower say to the other twin tower? A: I'm falling for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the little girl get a haircut? A; she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

thumb_up thumb_down +36

When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops