Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

5

Why did the girl die? No one knows.

Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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