What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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George Bush.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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Abe Lincholn had a son :) But he died |:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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