What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Gabe Mercado

thumb_up thumb_down -2

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Canida

thumb_up thumb_down -4

-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is the awesomest of them all? me

thumb_up thumb_down -6

69

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The bird is not the word.... Its two

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Don't you spell Pewdiepies name like "Pewdipie" than Pew-die-pie? Like who wants to kill a pie?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is America such a great place to live? It's not North Korea.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops