A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Why was the dog barking? No idea.

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What's 9+10=? 19

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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what is sad about gingers ? they are an unrecognised visible minority.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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feces

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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So. The gays. ...

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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