There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

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i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

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Light Yagami. I'm a gay light bulb :D

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

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A blonde walked into a phone pole.

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Whats worse then any minority? inter-minority breeding.

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Go in public and say this You-it smells like up sexy in here Person-what's up sexy? You-nothing much, how about yo

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

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Why wasn't the woman cooking in the kitchen? Both her hands had been cut off in a severe conveyor belt accident.

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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brian mcgee is gay!

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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