I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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Anti-Joke Memes? That Shouldn't Be A Thing

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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