What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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I love you You love me Barney gave me HIVS It started with a hug and ended on the floor IVE BEEN RAPED BY A DINOSAUR!

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Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

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"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

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No it isn't.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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Hippopatomous!

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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Woman's rights

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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