A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Why was the dog barking? No idea.

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

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What's Funnier than this joke? Lee Evans

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops