if I was a girl I would be touching my self everywhere if I was a girl as a boy I would make a diffrence in poltics but thats not gonna happen.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A woman should not be in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops