Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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you will now laugh.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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Nobody cares.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Potato.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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