Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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George Bush.

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

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Hey

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops