Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

What abou three times

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

Penis

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

Society.

How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

Penis-Pump

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Women's rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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