haha, you're an orphan

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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Penis.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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Knock knock. Who's there? John John who John

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Your social life

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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