Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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A Mexican walks into an all white people bar. He then proceeds to buy rounds for everyone in the bar. Everyone thanks the mexican and everyone gets back to doing their own thing.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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Knock knock Come In.......

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Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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