Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the rabbit say to the rabbi? ...RABBITS DO NOT TALK! So then the rabbi said, "In that case you must be a hare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

There's no "i" in tim.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

That didn't hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Cows go moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Waseem is not a funny guy!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops