Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's a small person? A midget

thumb_up thumb_down +44

My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

12

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops