Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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ugh good riddance

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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Knock knock Come In.......

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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