How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

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A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

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http://Youtube.com/User/PeGamer22

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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Q: What did the twin tower say to the other twin tower? A: I'm falling for you.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 raped and murdered 8.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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Why does no one we talk about Nagasaki, they got bombed too...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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