What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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im a selling a car

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops