Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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knock knock go away ok

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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The Irish man was sober.

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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Society.

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What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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