Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

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I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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why could the boy use the computer there was nothing wrong with him

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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what's yellow, dirty, and looks like a potato? a potato

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he, he's blind.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is a bully. every day 7 ate 6's books and punches him. 6 would go to 9 but today 7 ate 9

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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Why was the dog barking? No idea.

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Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops