whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

http://anti-joke.com/

Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

Women's rights.

Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

hi my name is 50 cent my mom swallowd 2 quarters befor i was born dsthgiudghyudgfuawyg

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

Knock Knock Come in

What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

Obama

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...