What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Potato.

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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Women's rights.

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Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

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Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops