How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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The Irish man was sober.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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