Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -32

who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Christians pornstars.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Yo momma so stupid that she went to get a college degree from a community college and along with her education now has a greater opportunity to earn money with that knowledge.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +57

baby loves lalma

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Which one is hardest?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops