What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

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whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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