How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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What's a small person? A midget

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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Penis.

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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Women's rights

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Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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