Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

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what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops