What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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Where's my shotgun

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The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

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Hi my name is Jim

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A man with no legs walks into a bar.

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What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your boobss.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

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girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

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What did the cop do when he saw two Mexicans buying coke? Warned them of the health risks of drinking carbonated soft drinks.

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What happens when Brittany Spears is hungry? She goes to taco bell for food

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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ha.

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WHat is worse then Fred singing and cumy condom

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Would you like a better house, car, spouse, and a better life all together? No, no thanks.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

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Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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