So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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Dick spice

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

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a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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