Abe Lincholn had a son :) But he died |:

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You can buy me a rose, and if I love roses, that rose would make me happy, you can buy me a large house by the ocean, but if I do not like big empty spaces and dislike the sea, it would make me sad. I am no longer sure what would make me happy, so no.

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Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

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an amosh person used an electrical appliance

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

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What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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Nice weather we're having.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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