Hi

What is Earth made out of? Earth

A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

how did the little girl die cancer

Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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