How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Im Jackson Sinclair and Me and Carter Weeks-69;)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was the man gay? because he likes men.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops