Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

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Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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Hey

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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what did the boy say to the girl? make me a sandwich.

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops