Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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