Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walked into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a pakistani with a backpack on a plane? A passenger with ordinary hand luggage

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Ass

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops