Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

how do u get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy

What's easier to get than a broke prostitute on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

What's Donald Trump's favorite color?

whats funny ? not you i am telling the joke around here

What do A Canary and a Groundhog have in common? Nothing, Groundhogs can fly, and Canaries can't dig.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

What sounds really bad? An accordion.

they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

how did the little girl die cancer

Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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