A guy hit his elbow. Judaism.

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A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. I didn't ask him.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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whats brown? poop.

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How do you catch a unique rabbit? You could probably find many of them in the vicinity of Chernobyl. The radiation has probably created thousands of mutations. They are probably not as fast as regular rabbits.

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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Did you hear about the 2 guys who wanted to go to rome? They didnt go

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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what's red and blue? your heart

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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Q: why are black people so good at basketball? A: because the can shoot and steal:)

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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