what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

thumb_up thumb_down -36

The same girl who got cancer for christmas had a birthday soon after, as a present She got kimo...but it failed

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Sorry boss

thumb_up thumb_down +53

I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What abou three times

thumb_up thumb_down +47

why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What's a small person? A midget

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

thumb_up thumb_down +39

24!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

thumb_up thumb_down +37

you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops