Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

why was the man gay? because he likes men.

How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

Women

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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