Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Dick spice

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

http://anti-joke.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you get a taco? Buy one!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops