This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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why is liam baldy because his dad is too

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why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Are you a human?

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di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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