What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

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Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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Christians pornstars.

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Yes, finally caught that mouse!

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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Sorry boss

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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