I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Woman's rights.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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I know a black girl named beyonca.

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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