Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

24!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call six million jews? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Society.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

George Bush.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops