What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern ppoorrnnoo-graphic collections.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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how did the little girl die cancer

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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What's a small person? A midget

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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