Matty B

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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minecraft

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A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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