Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

guess what chicken butt

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jared Gough is a slut

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why is liam baldy because his dad is too

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Snooki want smoosh smoosh

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops