if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

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why could the boy use the computer there was nothing wrong with him

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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