wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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Yo momma so fat She has heart problems

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a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

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What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

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who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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Comment is abusive and has been removed.

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

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What do you do if you see a bleeding Mexican in your front yard? Quickly respond to the accident and supply the wounded victim with first aid.

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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