What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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9/11

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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feces

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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"Up to 50% off."

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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no

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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