According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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What's a small person? A midget

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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OMG guess what she just told me!! idk......im deaf.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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24!

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Society.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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