What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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what did the white man say to the black man with the gun? Nothing he was dead

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Tulips are red. My garden is on fire.

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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Penis

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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