What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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The penn state football administration

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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