no

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Where's my tractor?

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Knock knock What

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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