why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Poop

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Ha

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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