What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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Women's Rights

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops