A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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K

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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Why did the woman walk into the men's clothing store? She's a lesbian. Why did the man walk into the womens clothing store? He had to buy his mom a birthday present.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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Hi my name is Jim

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What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

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Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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