Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

I'm going to Re-write History... History

Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

poo poo you you doo doo too too

Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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