this anti joke will likely be the most liked one out of all the anti jokes.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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