Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who took a shit in my garden?

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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don't look behind you

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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Period Blood

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42

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops