Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Matt Damon

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

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What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops