A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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Womens Rights.

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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Dear Board of education, so are we.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Nice weather we're having.

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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