A seal walks into a club.

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

Hey, we're both lawyers.

Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

I ate a pancake for breakfast not

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

Two rabbits are being chased by dogs and hide in a log in the forest. The male pushes the female to the dogs which are at both sides of the log and gets off Scott free.

what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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