Guess what? No.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. He says, "I am what I am." The white guy says, "yes." The black guy says, "why did you say yes?" If he was black he would have said, "I is what I is.":):):):):):):):)<3

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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No. Yes.

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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Ass

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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