What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

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a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

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Comment is abusive and has been removed.

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who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? Nothing. It turns out it wasn't his wife, he was cheating on her with his mistress, the woman he was having sex with now, thus destroying their marriage.

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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