Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Why? Because!

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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MICHAEL

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You just won the game...

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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I have a crush on my dad.

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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why was the man gay? because he likes men.

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'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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