Ha

Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

Matty B

Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

Chuck Norris.

Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

-When is a door not a door? -Never

I'm going to Re-write History... History

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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