So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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feces

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Nice weather we're having.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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"Up to 50% off."

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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a

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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Knock knock What

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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