I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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Gracias por depositar mi dinero, y tener un buen día, adios.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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baby loves lalma

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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What's a small person? A midget

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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Why did the Mexican guy run to the hospital? Because it was faster than walking.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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That didn't hurt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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