Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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Blarg

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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