Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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don't look behind you

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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Period Blood

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42

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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