What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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No. Yes.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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Ass

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

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why did the black boy fall? he had terminal cancer and couldnt stand the pain anymore he died

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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