a man walks into a bar..... OWW!!!!!!

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What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

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What do you do when there is a truck on the interstate? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bra, he is an alcoholic and is destroying his family

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

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A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

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Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

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Q: What did one blind girl ask the other? A: Where are you?

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Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a Cadillac? One is a car and the other is a man. And it is insensitive to speak about race so blatantly, sir.

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A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

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Your mom is so stupid, she decided to go back to school.

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ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken!!!!!

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September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

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What do you call a group of men terrible at their jobs? The Mets

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The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll ya have, Pope?" But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves.

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there are three dudes one is white, one is mexican, one is black so a wizard says wish of something you want to be and jump off the roof. so the white guy wishes to be and eagle and jumps off and is an eagle the mexican wishes to be an owl and jumps off an becomes an owl then the black guy wishes he had to shit and jumps off and falls to the ground cause he turns into shit.

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what has 9 legs, 4 feet and is orange? nothing.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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How did the gymnast fall off the beam? Got shot in the face

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Getting aids from that apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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