A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a man walks into a bar..... OWW!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What do you do when there is a truck on the interstate? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Why did the man explode when he ate the cheeseburger? Because the man was actually a bomb.

thumb_up thumb_down +148

The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll ya have, Pope?" But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +56

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a black guy and a Cadillac? One is a car and the other is a man. And it is insensitive to speak about race so blatantly, sir.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom is so stupid, she decided to go back to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

what has 9 legs, 4 feet and is orange? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

What do you call a group of men terrible at their jobs? The Mets

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

thumb_up thumb_down +3

ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Why did the boy drop his ice cream. He never got an ice cream he is alergic.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

there are three dudes one is white, one is mexican, one is black so a wizard says wish of something you want to be and jump off the roof. so the white guy wishes to be and eagle and jumps off and is an eagle the mexican wishes to be an owl and jumps off an becomes an owl then the black guy wishes he had to shit and jumps off and falls to the ground cause he turns into shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding half of a worm in your apple? Getting aids from that apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

There's a blonde, Brunette and a Redhead stuck at the top of a cliff. A genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish. The Brunette wishes she could at the bottom of the cliff, The redhead wishes she could be back with her children and the blonde would just love to be back to her family. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops