Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

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why is liam baldy because his dad is too

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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Women Voting

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Why did the ant cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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