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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

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What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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Why are these jokes so funny? Because they're NOT!

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Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

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Whats worse then any minority? inter-minority breeding.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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What did robin say to batman before they got I the car........ Get in the car.

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A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

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Why did Superman stop collecting stones? Did he ever? Moral: Yes but his kryptonite collection seemed to slow him down at times... until he stopped...

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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brian mcgee is gay!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops