guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Blarg

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Woman's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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