And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in my garage? 11 dead babies in my garage

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why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

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knock knock who's there? Barbra Streisand Barbra Streisand who? Barbra? Streisand whoo oo oooo oo oo oo ooo ooo!

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If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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Ass

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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