Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Betty Whites ALIVE?

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

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why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Ass

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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What's cold and icy? Ice

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why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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Ill wait for you as long as you need Nero, I am just so glad you are alive and well... I know you, you would not be this chatty unless you where doing far worse, I know you will recover, dont think about the time for my sake, ill refresh this page every five minutes or so.

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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