The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

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Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

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How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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