I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

Women's rights...

Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

Why did the dad buy his son some ice cream? He didnt, his dad is dead

Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

What happened to the boy who wanted to jump off a cliff? He jumped off a cliff.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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