What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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Penis.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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democracy

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Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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marshal sterio had sex

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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