John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

F U C K Y O U W I T H Y O U R A N T I J O K E S

A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. He says, "I am what I am." The white guy says, "yes." The black guy says, "why did you say yes?" If he was black he would have said, "I is what I is.":):):):):):):):)<3

What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

Why was the girl stupid? She didn't pay attention in school because everyone was making fun of her blonde hair.

What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

Why was the dog barking? No idea.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

Tom Petty walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, you are visibly intoxicated. We cannot sell you liquor." The bar explodes because someone said no to Tom Petty.

GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

Woman's rights.

How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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