A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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why was the man gay? because he likes men.

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your a towel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops