What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

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What;s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

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Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

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poop

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Do you know what big feet mean. Big socks

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

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How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

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A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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