A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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Matty B

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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Why? Because!

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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why is liam baldy because his dad is too

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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