Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Canada

whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

The Irish man was sober.

What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

marshal sterio had sex

Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

Your social life

Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...