how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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Why did the vegetarian lose her foot? Diabetes.

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Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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K

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Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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Type 17 diabetes. Hepatitis R. Pubic Lice. Just Pubic Lice.

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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I don't like movies. Because ticket prices are overwhelming.

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

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Don't you spell Pewdiepies name like "Pewdipie" than Pew-die-pie? Like who wants to kill a pie?

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I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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