a man walks into horse bar

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knock knock

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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- Why a black man can not jump? - Because he broken his leg.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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