Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Facebook...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +10

motley crew

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My name is never spelt right so its all good

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops