A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

Anti jokes.

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

Woman's rights.

Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

your a towel.

Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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