Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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Guess what? No.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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Hey

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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i love huge wieners.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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knock knock

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

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what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops