How many wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. They prefer digging burrows for hibernation.

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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What did the man do with his bread He ate it

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Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

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Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

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What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

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Poop

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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