Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

YOLO

My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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