A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ryan Chang is funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops