omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to the boy who wanted to jump off a cliff? He jumped off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

K

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops