Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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Why did the girl run across the street? Because she was being chased by a man with a knife

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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why did the bear go into the woods to get shot

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Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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Whats worse than a repeated Anti-joke This One

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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Your so stupid, that your stupid.

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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whats blue and fluffy? your mothers chest hair!

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: why the long face? he has cancer

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The club cant even handle me right now Because theyve reached their limit of people allowed in

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Want to hear a joke? Womens' Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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