roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Woman's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do yo call four Jewish guys sitting around doing nothing? The Sabbath Day

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops