Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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alert("The Game");//

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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"Up to 50% off."

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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