Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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Knock knock What

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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Why? Because!

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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why is liam baldy because his dad is too

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops