What's brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Canada

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +45

whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down +41

There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +41

why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +39

"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

The Irish man was sober.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your social life

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops