Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

Women

a man walks into a bar it hurt

Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

Wats a joke?

A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!

Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

K

Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

Why did the Muslim get on the plane in New York? To go visit his dying aunt in Memphis.

Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

What is the biggest lie in the universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

Why are these jokes so funny? Because they're NOT!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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