how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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you

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What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

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What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road To Get To The Other Side

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What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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Christians pornstars.

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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fabien

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What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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Halo < COD

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you will now laugh.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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