Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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A genie came out of a lamp explain?

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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Gadaffi

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Matt Damon

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Potato.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Romney 2012

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops