What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's funnier than poop? More poop

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

thumb_up thumb_down +11

di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are brown I like clouds this joke isn't funny so don't laugh..... Oh an I am trying to get the most dislikes so whatever you do don't like it:(:(:(

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops