I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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AHHHHHHH OMGOMG OMG I SAY TO MY MUM SHE RUNS INTO THE ROOM SCREEMING AND SAYS WHAT HAPPEND I SAY ....................... i forgot now (k.c)

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

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Woman's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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