A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

Jared Gough is a slut

Nikii manaj is 99.9% fake on her body

Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

Why does your mother not love you anymore? Because she was in a tragic car accident 5 years ago and is now deceased and is therefore incapable of love.

How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

poo poo you you doo doo too too

What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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