What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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what did the mom with cancer get for christmas? radiation poisoning

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What can Harry Potter NOT see with his glasses? His parents...alive.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

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how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops