What do JFK and Hitler have in common? They died.

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A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

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9/11/2001

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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Q: What has 1 eye and half of a pig's snout? A: A pig peeking around a corner.

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What's big, brown, and barks? Tree

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Why did the Chicken commit suicide Because he Ms. Reed

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A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

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What's easier to get than a broke prostitute on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

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The Sentence Below is True The Sentence Above is False

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A pussy walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bar keeper asks " why are you such a pussy!" The pussy then says, "it's not my fault I'm a cat!" before getting run over

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

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A guy hit his elbow. Judaism.

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why is the asian still in the driveway? her car broke down

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Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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