How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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Women's Sports

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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That didn't hurt.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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Cows go moo.

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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