Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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The priest, rabbi and Lady Gaga walk into a bar. Lady Gaga performs on stage, while the priest and rabbi listen.

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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Penis-Pump

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What's worse than finding your dad's wedding ring while fingering your sister ? 3 bee stings.

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Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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