What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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Woman's rights.

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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