Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Dick spice

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is there no African food restaurants in America? Because Africa doesnt have food to begin with

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

an amosh person used an electrical appliance

thumb_up thumb_down +22

stop it ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black guy with his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +20

so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops