So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Why did the dog's chin get all scraped up? He didn't have any front legs.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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b

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: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because SEVEN-FIVE!!!

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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