A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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Matty B

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Jared Gough is a slut

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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Knock knock What

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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why is liam baldy because his dad is too

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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