What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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Woman's rights.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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Why did the girl die? No one knows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops