What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

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No. Yes.

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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Why did the orange drive the tractor? Because he always wanted to go to the moon.

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What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Ha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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