Knock knock What

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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You want to hear a joke? Adobe Flash Player.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops