What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

A: Knock knock. B: <>

What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

i dislike sack in my mouth

How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

Cornbread ain't nothin wrong with that.

What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

What do you do if you see a bleeding Mexican in your front yard? Quickly respond to the accident and supply the wounded victim with first aid.

Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

baby loves lalma

The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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