Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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What did the duck say when it walked into the house? This isn't where I live.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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Q. Why was the cat brown? A. because it was a maori

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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Christians pornstars.

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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fabien

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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you will now laugh.

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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