Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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You just won the game...

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Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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