What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

A jew go out of a bar

What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike with no handle bars or pedals.

What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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