Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

AHHHHHHH OMGOMG OMG I SAY TO MY MUM SHE RUNS INTO THE ROOM SCREEMING AND SAYS WHAT HAPPEND I SAY ....................... i forgot now (k.c)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

thumb_up thumb_down +2

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

thumb_up thumb_down

An Oldish (probably 27) man walks into a chuck-e cheese, He then puts on his coustume.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

thumb_up thumb_down

Women

thumb_up thumb_down

im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

thumb_up thumb_down

What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops