Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -121

How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Nobody cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The Treatment of Steve Bartman

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Women's Sports

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

thumb_up thumb_down +36

how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops