What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a vampire? A Vampire Polar Bear.

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Guess what happened when a man took off his jumper?? He became cold!

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A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I get you a drink?" The robot replies, "No, I'm a robot."

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What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

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Why did the all the fish in the lake die? A pesticide bioaccumulated through the food chain.

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Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

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-Knock knock. -Who's there? -Doctor. -Docter who? -Yes...

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What's worse than biting into your apple and realising it has a worm in it? subsequently realising that the worm is a Swamp Adder, the worlds smallest venemous snake. Then you look up and realise you're in the Sahara Desert. You wonder where the snake came from and how it got in the apple.. Then you slowly die.

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What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

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What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

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I used to write letters to Black people, then I got an arrow to the knee.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Whats the difference between boyscouts and jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

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6

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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