Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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A man walked into a store and asked if he could use the restroom. They found this acceptable and let him use it.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

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Why did The chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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Q: What would you do for a Klondike bar? A: I would make the slightly onerous journey to the local grocery establishment and pay my hard-earned money to procure a dessert which I quite enjoy.

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What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

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Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

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What is worse than finding 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? Finding 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Why was the swing in the kitchen?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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What was the sadest part about the four blacks who drove off a cliff in a cadilac? -The car sat five

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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A bass player walks past a bar.......... "hey, it could happen"...

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What's the difference between a black guy and a Cadillac? One is a car and the other is a man. And it is insensitive to speak about race so blatantly, sir.

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A man walks into a bra, he is an alcoholic and is destroying his family

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the WNBA

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What's worse than falling off your bike? Getting hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops