You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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what makes margaritas good. illegal immagrants in the basement.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

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What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

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Roses are red, I want a gravestone, nobody loves me, forever alone

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What's the difference between a black guy and a Cadillac? One is a car and the other is a man. And it is insensitive to speak about race so blatantly, sir.

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September 8, 2011 Amy Winehouse: 46 days sober. Date of death: July 23, 2011

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Why did the all the fish in the lake die? A pesticide bioaccumulated through the food chain.

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What is worse than finding 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? Finding 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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So a bear walks into a bar. Everyone in there goes hysterical with the fright. Two people are killed by it.

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Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

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Darude - Sandstorm

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A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

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ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

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What did the boy Tell to his friends? Nothing. He has noone.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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What did the Black man say when he just got home from work? "Hi honey, I just got home from work."

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Knock knock Whos there? ... You got ding dong ditched

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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