I'm not here.

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What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

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Q: What would you do for a Klondike bar? A: I would make the slightly onerous journey to the local grocery establishment and pay my hard-earned money to procure a dessert which I quite enjoy.

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? were both therapists.

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what do you call a black pilot? a pilot

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yo mamas so ugly she turned madoosa into stone

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What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

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Why was Jesus able to walk on water? Because he was the son of God and therefore devine, he can do whatever he pleases

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

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Your momma so fat she's fat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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the WNBA

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Why did the all the fish in the lake die? A pesticide bioaccumulated through the food chain.

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Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

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Why did the group of black men not get paid for all of their manual labor? It was the early 1800's.

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whats cheese thats not yours? the one in the toilet.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a Cadillac? One is a car and the other is a man. And it is insensitive to speak about race so blatantly, sir.

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What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

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roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

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Knock knock Whos there? ... You got ding dong ditched

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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I am Skaldak!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops