yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

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Ass

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I went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog, it was a shitzu

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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b

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Can you see this brett? Connor

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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Matty B

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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