How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Canada

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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What abou three times

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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Women's football

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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The Irish man was sober.

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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