Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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Matty B

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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no

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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Do you need any assistance?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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