Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

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What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

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( o Y o )

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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You are what you eat, so... Can we not talk about this? Cause for me it's recently been sort of sexual. ... How can it be ?.... Ohhhh, dude, that's disgusting...

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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alert("The Game");//

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops