Christopher Walken to a bar.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...