The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Women's rights...

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

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i eat poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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