The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Penis

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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96

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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Society.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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That didn't hurt.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops