baby loves lalma

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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The Irish man was sober.

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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knock knock go away ok

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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Smart Blondes

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Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Your social life

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Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

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Women's rights

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops