How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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Women's Sports

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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