Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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That didn't hurt.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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Cows go moo.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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