How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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gay rights

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What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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Do you need any assistance?

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Nikii manaj is 99.9% fake on her body

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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Hey, name is Anita, I am Nero`s nurse, he told me to say that if you wish to speak any further, you are going to have to call him and prove you are not some guy. Say Tifa, do you ever play videogames?

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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