a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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Doctor: your mom has cancerous aids Me:*sob*

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A man with no legs walks into a bar.

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GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

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why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

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a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

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whats retarded and looks like a fat duck? GEorge goodburn

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your boobss.

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Rock mattress.

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Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

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A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Drowning.

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girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

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- Mother, where's my bread? - It's in the living room.

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

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What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

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When Life gives you lemons... Squeeze the juice right back into Life's eyes!

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops