Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

There is this dylectic who can't spell.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a chevrolet? I've never been inside a chevrolet before...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between Kim kardashian and lebrOn James?? Kim got a ring this year

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops