What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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gay rights

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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