What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A black man boards a plane. He enjoys the rest of the flight in first class.

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SC Johnson a Family Company

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An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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Blarg

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Josh Hamilton walks into a bar.

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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The Bible

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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Whats worse than finding bubba in your house? Getting raped by a rabid racoon..

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Why Is Jarrod spencer gay Coz he is

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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