Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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