omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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Women

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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Sonic

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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