How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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You just won the game...

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A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

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'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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Woman's rights

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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Six million.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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