roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

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what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

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Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

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Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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A fat guy at starbucks, waiting for his regular 160lbs breakfest. why is the 10 black kid crying? he's hungry and there is no starbucks in somalia .

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How do magnets work?

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

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Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is black.

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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