What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

-When is a door not a door? -Never

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

A baby seal walks into a club...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

guess what chicken butt

There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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