How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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69

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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There was a white man who sat on a log. then suddenly a Chinese man popped out and said he had to leave. he left.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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What did Helen Keller say to a stranger at a party? I earned a Bachelor of Arts degree, wrote several books, traveled to over 39 countries, and was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, one of the United States' highest two civilian honors, from President Lyndon B. Johnson.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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