Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wanna hear an oxymoron? Jews for Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops