- Anti Joke

What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

Japan called... They need help.

Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

Dan, a 17 year of age male walks into a poor, raggedy bar. The bartender ask for I.D. But Dan continues to walk to the back at a corner booth with his name carved on the wall of the booth. Dan sits downs and begins to cry as the bartender pours a shot glass full of a light whiskey and gives it to him hopes of cheering up Dan, but sobs silently as he swallows the liquor and goes back to weeping to himself. The bartender then sits across Dan and ask if anything is wrong and does he need help. Dan looks up with his eyes glossy as if made porcelain glass, and his face red as if he was smacked across the face. Dan calmly ask the bartender what his name, the old and withering man replied with "Bart" Dan snickers as he finds that a bartender is Bart, because the first four letter of "bartender" is his name. Dan fixs his posture and looks Bart in the eyes, noticing that one of his old friend eyes is grey and bloodshot and constantly looking downward as if focusing on something on the floor. He ask what is with the deformitie of his eye, Bart sighs and pours another drink for himself and softly swallows the warming alcohol and tells Dan "I had an older bother, who pretty much invented the term asshole, but I loved him with all my heart. But one Christmas when I was young enough to know the meaning of family, my brother got a BB gun to hunt stray cats and raccoons" with a pause to down another liquid nummer "he was teasing me, and firing at my feet to scare me, if mom would have found out he was shooting his brother and not diseased filled animals mom would have token it away, but while he cut my toenails with metal bb's I trip and fell. The bb entered the side of my skull, piercing my eye and blinding my left eye forever" Dan just sits still looking at the empty shot glass pondering on why a mans brother would shot him. "But it's fine, he moved out two years later and haven't heard from him since, for all I know he maybe dead as we speak" Dan just berries his face into his cross arms now leaning on the old oak table. "So what's got a youngster like down?" Dan wipes his nose on his sleeve and looks Bart in his good eye "my brother died two days ago to a drug overdose, he was supposed to go to the movies but he ended up at a party and he tried a new drug and just died...and if that's not bad, my mom, my sweet mother has been dignosed with small cell cancer...and has a max of two years to live" Dan runs his hand down the wall over his name carved into the booth, "Dan and Sarah forever and for life" surrounded by a heart. "I don't like when people carve $hit into my wall but I left this because it was sweet, so how is the lady" as Bart began to pour yet another drink "dead" Dan whispered, "what happened?" Dan takes the drink from In front of Bart and downs the fluid without second wind. "She was at a hockey game and she decided to leave early because her favorite team was losing, on her way home a drunk driver swerved into her lane, head on collision, her legs were trapped by the Dashboard and steering wheel but her top half.....her top half flew out the windshield and landed on the side of the road, the believe she bled out before she hit the pavement " Bart got up and walked to the bathroom as Dan sucks the bottle away. Dan never told anyone his girlfriend died but he felt better telling Bart his true feelings. Dan walked into a bar, asked the bartender about a scar while his girl is smashed by car and I took this anti-joke way to far.

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH goes crazy and shoots himself

what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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