roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

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Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

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What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

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What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

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Woman's rights.

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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