Destiny was calling me, so I picked up the phone.

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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Why did Superman stop collecting stones? Did he ever? Moral: Yes but his kryptonite collection seemed to slow him down at times... until he stopped...

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I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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Looks through the peephole.

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A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

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The Sentence Below is True The Sentence Above is False

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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Why did the little boy fall down? Because he was shot.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What did the pig say after having sex? "Oink".

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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What do you call a black man with a well paid job? A sucess and a credit to himself and his family

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13

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What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

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they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

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Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops