What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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