How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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what did one mexican say to the other Hi.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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don't look behind you

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roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

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A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

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Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Ha

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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42

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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Matty B

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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