The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

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What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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