A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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what's funnier than 3 dead babies in a trashcan pretty much anything thats not funny

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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Japan called... They need help.

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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my mom raped yerr foot

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why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops