What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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Halo < COD

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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