Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

Matty B

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

A baby seal walks into a club...

A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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