The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Penis-Pump

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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