Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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What did timothy say after he went to go golf? - I just went golfing

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anne hatthaway

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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The Bible

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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