What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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my mom raped yerr foot

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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Dick spice

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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Pickles

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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