A turkey and a ham walk into a room. The ham says to the turkey "You're a turkey." The turkey in response says, "Yeah, well you're a ham!" They both then get their heads chopped off, as the room they were in was a slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The Sentence Below is True The Sentence Above is False

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -15

you: Why did the chicken cross the road? them: "To get to the other side...?" you: Oh! *stare*

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. What happened when a mouse ran up the clock and it struck 12? A. It fell off and got raped by an 80 year old Asian lady with breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a black man with a well paid job? A sucess and a credit to himself and his family

thumb_up thumb_down -19

13

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

thumb_up thumb_down -27

a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the monkey follow the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

how did the little girl die cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops