Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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Where's my tractor?

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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Nice weather we're having.

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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