Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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What do you call bad anti-jokes? Suckish comedy What do you call suckish comedy? Bad anti-jokes

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

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Chuck Norris.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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