What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

Hey

A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

hey.

Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

Your mom is so old so will die soon.

Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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