My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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What did the pig say after having sex? "Oink".

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whats brown? poop.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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who farted your mother

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

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A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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