Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Where is my tractor?

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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