What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Women's Rights

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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You know what is better than winning a race in the Special Olympics? Winning two races.

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Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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