Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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9/11

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Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

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gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

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What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

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Vagina-Boob

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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b

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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Where's my tractor?

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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Matty B

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops