What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Christopher Walken to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Waseem is not a funny guy!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

oh hiya come in

thumb_up thumb_down +30

yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

thumb_up thumb_down +30

roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Gadaffi

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was Timmy sad?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops