Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

A woman leaves the kitchen.

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

Knock, knock. Come in.......

Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

whats better than 24................. 25

Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

Women's rights...

Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

Ha

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

ugh good riddance

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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