Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Chapter 6 : The pimp ``scooby`` tells how delivered the poor young people to people with money.

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Black Veil Brides.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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96

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Your social life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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