A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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Anti jokes.

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the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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YOLO

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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