Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +14

That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops