A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

Cows go moo.

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

I have no ideas.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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