math test 2=2

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Canada

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Your social life

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What's dead? Your mum.

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Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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my mom raped yerr foot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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