Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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When is a bus not a bus? When it explodes.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Cows go moo.

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Women's rights

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops