Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Nah

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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