How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

A Banana wrote this...

why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

alert("The Game");//

Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

Hey, we're both lawyers.

A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

ugh good riddance

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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