Poop

Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

Womens Rights.

Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

"Up to 50% off."

When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

Chuck Norris.

Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

Jake Bowar

How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...