What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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I have no ideas.

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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A jew go out of a bar

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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an amosh person used an electrical appliance

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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