what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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What did the pig say after having sex? "Oink".

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My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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A Rabbi, a Priest, and an Atheist walk into a restaurant. They receive terrible service, and do not leave a tip.

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey. By darragh hamilton

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How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

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who farted your mother

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What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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Women's football

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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