Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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Ha

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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Women's rights...

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So this guy drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later the girl has a misscarrage.

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Vagina-Boob

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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