Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

A woman leaves the kitchen.

feces

Womens Rights.

What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

Do you need any assistance?

An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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