Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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The Bible

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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