Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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baby loves lalma

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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Women's football

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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Nah

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Black Veil Brides.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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There's no "i" in tim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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