Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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