Women's football

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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Black Veil Brides.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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96

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Two Penn-State Advisors walk into a butt.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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Your social life

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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