Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

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whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

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You are reading this.Ya you the fat one

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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