Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

Dick spice

Why was Timmy sad?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

69

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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