How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Women's rights...

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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Nikii manaj is 99.9% fake on her body

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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Women Voting

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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solve y = [1 arctan (x)] / [2-3 arctan (x)]

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

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A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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