Obama

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What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

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I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

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Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Garry Glitters on here

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

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9/11

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Womens Rights.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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