What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Women's football

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Penis-Pump

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops