Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mom is so old so will die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's a ghost favourite colour? Ghosts don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats better than 24................. 25

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

42

thumb_up thumb_down +16

women

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Up to 50% off."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops