Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

Your mom

Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

A cow walks into a store. The clerk asks "how may i help you sir?" The cow says "Im a cow stupid!" and storms out.

Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

Q: why are black people so good at basketball? A: because the can shoot and steal:)

Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 raped and murdered 8.

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...