What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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Three facts 1. You are reading this. 2. You realized that is a stupid fact. 3. You are leaving because this was a stupid joke.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Ha

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Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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Is this a chair?

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops