ballsack

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What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

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you: Why did the chicken cross the road? them: "To get to the other side...?" you: Oh! *stare*

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

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God is real

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

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How come Michael Jackson can draw a perfect circle? He likes little BOYS.

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You smell bad? Cool.

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Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

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how do u get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy

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What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

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Your mom

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

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What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Gracias por depositar mi dinero, y tener un buen día, adios.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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