What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

Women's rights...

Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

Knock knock What

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

guess what chicken butt

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

-When is a door not a door? -Never

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

What is next?

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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