Hey, we're both lawyers.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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A:Will you be my valentine? B:No

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops