What is next?

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

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A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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Women's Rights

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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Sonic

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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