Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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im a selling a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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