What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I'm going to Re-write History... History

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is this a chair?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a computer and a television?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops