How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Want to hear it again?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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How do you jump off a bridge? You jump

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What does wasabi spell backwards? Ibasaw

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Toilet Sex, Toilet Sex I Love Toilet Sex!

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Stubbing your toe

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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what did the dead woman say the boy? I am dead.

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

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what kind of panda eats leaves? the gray one :D

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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The african american male looked into his refridgerator hoping to have some orange juice to drink with his breakfast. All he had was Kool-Aid. He then proceeded to drink the Kool-Aid.

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Comment is abusive and has been removed.

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What's better than sex? Nothing

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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