Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shih-tzu? Dogs are large and solid objects and therefore cannot be mixed together.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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What is the difference between a hore and a wife? The hore serves you...

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what is 6.9? a good thing ruined by a period

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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this anti joke will likely be the most liked one out of all the anti jokes.

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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