why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Abe Lincholn had a son :) But he died |:

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Miranda Lorenz is a WHORE!!! She has slept with three guys while in a relationship!! then when he broke up with her for cheating on him, she keyed his car!! Psycho Bitch!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Ass

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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viki has 10 penises around her she eats 8 of them what does viki have? viki has AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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