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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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Where's my tractor?

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A Banana wrote this...

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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ugh good riddance

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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What's worse than getting one of your hands cut off? Getting both of your hands cut off.

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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