what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Halo < COD

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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Black Veil Brides.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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