Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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That didn't hurt.

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Penis-Pump

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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Women's rights

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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Why was Timmy sad?

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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