say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

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Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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oh hiya come in

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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2

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Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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