Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

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Why did the old man fall off a bicycle? He had a fridge thrown at him.

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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What is worse than getting the wrong haircut at a hair salon? A terrible shooting at your local Chuck-E-Cheese

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Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

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Here's the senario, There are 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara dessert. the question is how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? The awnser is purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Your mother is so ugly, because she was badly beaten.

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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You know what's sad about the Special Olympics? Even of you win, your still retarded.

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer.

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There is a white man, a black guy, and an Asian in a car. It got into an accident who did it? Asian dude

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Dear Sarah, Your a damn lesbian! Sincerely Adam Claypool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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