Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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Cows go moo.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

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What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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