What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

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roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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