Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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Ha

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A seal walks into a club.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

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What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

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Anti jokes.

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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