Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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alert("The Game");//

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heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

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Matty B

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Women's rights...

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Vagina-Boob

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

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What is next?

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im a selling a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops