What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? Fix it, call a repair man, call the landlord, do the dishes by hand or don't do them at all... your options are endless.

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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You are reading this.Ya you the fat one

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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why did little marwisheafuck want a cat for hanukock because her dad had ciilled a black priest that ate free mdicks out of a mshitfuck

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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Women's football

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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