A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Its socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

knock knock who's there? Barbra Streisand Barbra Streisand who? Barbra? Streisand whoo oo oooo oo oo oo ooo ooo!

Your mother

How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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