Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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What do you call a successful black man who has it all? A hip hop artist.

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Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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