What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

Two rabbits are being chased by dogs and hide in a log in the forest. The male pushes the female to the dogs which are at both sides of the log and gets off Scott free.

How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

AHHHHHHH OMGOMG OMG I SAY TO MY MUM SHE RUNS INTO THE ROOM SCREEMING AND SAYS WHAT HAPPEND I SAY ....................... i forgot now (k.c)

How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

What's fast and white ? A chicken after you hit it going 100mph

Woman's rights

WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

How did the fat man die? Type 2 diabetes

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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