How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Woman's rights.

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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why did the stupid blonde run straight into oncoming traffic? because there was a small child there that could have been seriously injured.

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

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where did Bob go during the bombing attacks? All over the walls.

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Blarg

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Watching your house burn down and your family scream in pain as their flesh burns and you suffer from chronic depression.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops