I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

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Your mother is so ugly, because she was badly beaten.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Waiter, waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Apologies for the inconvenience sir, I shall bring you a new bowl as soon as possible.

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what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

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Jay Leno: The economy is so bad.. Audience: how bad is it?! Jay Leno: Very bad.

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i eat poop

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Whats big, ugly, and sucks? Death.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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Gabe Mercado

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why cant Joey jump for joy? beacause hes dead

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What's the difference between a baseball player on the Yankees, and one on the Red Sox? One was named Jeff, the other wasn't.

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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Knock knock Who's there My dick

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Yo Momma's So Fat... She tried Weight Watchers, and still gained weight... She hung herself last weekend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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