What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

Barack Obama

why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

Women's Rights

What's better than winning a medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

K

you're a loser >>>>>>>>>>>

A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

The battle of Troy lasted approximatley nine years.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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