Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Your social life

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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Dick spice

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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