Christopher Walken to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was Timmy sad?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Gadaffi

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops