Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

roses are red, violets are blue, charcoal is black, and my neighbor is too.

- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

Unflushed Shit...

this anti joke will likely be the most liked one out of all the anti jokes.

Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

Why was the dog barking? No idea.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

Knock Knock Who's there? Cancer

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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