Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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MICHAEL

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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How do magnets work?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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