Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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Why was Timmy sad?

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Dick spice

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

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stop it ryan vallee

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A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Knock knock. Who's there? James. James who? You know, from across the road? But where's the punchline? This isn't a joke. Isn't it? No. Can you still add a punchline? OPEN THE DOOR!

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Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

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like for a handjob.

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hey

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A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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