Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Halo < COD

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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Black Veil Brides.

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why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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