Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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AHHHHHHH OMGOMG OMG I SAY TO MY MUM SHE RUNS INTO THE ROOM SCREEMING AND SAYS WHAT HAPPEND I SAY ....................... i forgot now (k.c)

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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Women

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The horse said "nay."

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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