What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

thumb_up thumb_down +30

save water shower with friends

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you kill a black guy With a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

thumb_up thumb_down +24

i love huge wieners.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops