Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

thumb_up thumb_down -31

man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

who farted your mother

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +50

a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops