What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ha

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Adam gives a new view of roid rage

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened on December 7, 1941 in Hawaii? People celebrated the 100th anniversary of December 7, 1841

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops