Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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Enchilada

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Women

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops