what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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why did little marwisheafuck want a cat for hanukock because her dad had ciilled a black priest that ate free mdicks out of a mshitfuck

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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How many cows can you fit in a field? It depends on how big your field is.

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Women's football

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Penis.

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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