Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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What's orange and doesn't bounce? A flat basketball

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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a

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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