alert("The Game");//

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

Women's rights...

How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

-When is a door not a door? -Never

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

"Up to 50% off."

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

guess what chicken butt

what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

What is next?

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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