Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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knock knock go away ok

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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That didn't hurt.

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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