Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I'm so hungry I feel I would be able to ingest large quantities of food.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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I have no ideas.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

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stop it ryan vallee

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what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

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What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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knock knock

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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gay rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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