Once upon a time.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

Why did the man die from drinking the water? It wasn't water, it was acid.

alert('hiiii');

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga A: You pokerface

What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

What did the blind and deaf woman get for her birthday? Raped.

What do you call a black man with a well paid job? A sucess and a credit to himself and his family

A man comes home early from work to find that his wife is in bed with another man, startled by his presence the wife quickly utters 'it's not what it looks like", the husband however, disregards this comment and later files for a divorce

What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

What is the biggest, most elaborate lie? Santa Clause

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

What's easier to get than a broke prostitute on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

Un petit gars se plante en vélo et il se met à pleurer.

A blonde, brunette and a redhead are taken captive by a native tribe. They didn't survive the encounter.

Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

Knock Knock. Come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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