What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

you know what hurts.... PAIN

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

3 men walked into a bar... They sat down and had a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Christopher Walken to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Penis-Pump

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops