Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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i dislike sack in my mouth

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your mamma so fat she is homosexual... hahaha to bad u will get last in her

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Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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baby loves lalma

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Canada

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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