A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?? Where's my tractor?

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stapled to the chickens back.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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69

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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How do you get a bear out of a tree with cheese? Camembert.

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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George Bush does not care about black people.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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