Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Jake Bowar

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Ryan Chang is funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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