What happened to the man that took too much viagra? His erection lasted longer than 4 hours, he's dead now

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't Jane buy an ice-cream? Because she was lactose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many dislikes can this get?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops