What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

SC Johnson a Family Company

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a computer and a television?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the cheese say to the wall? nothing cheese can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the 3 bears say when they saw goldielocks sleeping in their bed? Nothing. Bears can't talk so they ate her.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops