Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A guy walks into a bar with a sad and depressed look on his face. the bartender says why the long face. The depressed guys think "how bad of eye sight he has my face is the average diameter of about 20 cm long"

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What did the lady say to her child? Nothing sadly the baby was taken to Timbuktu by the father. Ps: it's a real place look it up

thumb_up thumb_down +58

I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

knock knock go away ok

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +36

If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops