stop it ryan vallee

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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Guess what? No.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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Hi Shelby!!

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Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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