I ate a pancake for breakfast not

What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

lick my ballsack.... ok

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

Four homosexuals walk into a bar and theres only one bar stool left how do they all sit down on that one bar stool. They flip the bar stool around and sit down all together

Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

How many dislikes can this get?

What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

whats white and gooy liguid goop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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