On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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feces

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Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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What do you call a dead black guy? A TERRIBLE CRIME

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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Do you need any assistance?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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