If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

an amosh person used an electrical appliance

Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

Womens Rights.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw a fridge at it

what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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