Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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Women's rights.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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What did the boy do when he got locked out his house go on anti joke and make a stupid joke about him being locked out

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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