Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens do not possess the mental capacity to grasp the idea of "roads"

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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knock knock go away ok

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Black Veil Brides.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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That didn't hurt.

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops