A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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what did one mexican say to the other Hi.

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

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don't look behind you

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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Why was the dog barking? No idea.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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