How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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what did the ugly girl get on valentines? A paper bag

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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And I want you like Anne Frank wanted ... nobody to read her diary. Cuz, like a diary is a collection of secret things that no one else reads, that's the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girl's privacy after she was chased by Nazis. Kick her while she's down.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

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How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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