Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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That didn't hurt.

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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I have no ideas.

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What do you call a Mexican with a Green Card? A hard working American Citizen

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops