Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why is nick a dumb ass? because hes not a smart ass

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why Do Indians Not Like Snow? Because it is white and on their land

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

thumb_up thumb_down +1

lick my ballsack.... ok

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the chicken cross the street? it didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a clown of a swing set U hit it with an ax 2.5 times

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you spell ugly ? U G L Y.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops