Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +73

What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

math test 2=2

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

you know what hurts.... PAIN

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

The Treatment of Steve Bartman

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops