What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

my mom raped yerr foot

what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

What is the different between a blonde and a rock? nothing.

What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter what you call him. He won't come.

what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

I have no ideas.

Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

Why do white people despise black people? Because they are good at everything we suck at.

A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

knock knock

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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