Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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Why couldn't sally drive her car? Because sally is a girl.

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A: Knock, Knock! B: Who's there? A: Boo B: Boo, who? A: Don't cry, it's only me!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor. The results came back, and you have brain cancer.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

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Why did the tree fall down? Because no one caught it.

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whats young and never moved? still born baby

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Whats worse than a repeated Anti-joke This One

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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How come Michael Jackson can draw a perfect circle? He likes little BOYS.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

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Why is a black man fat? Because he eats a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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