Where's my tractor?

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm going to kill your family.

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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The Bible

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Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

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A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

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Barack Obama

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I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

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Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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