democracy

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Women's rights

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Cows go moo.

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, Everything's Grey, I am a Dog.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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Pickles

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two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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