What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

Hey, we're both lawyers.

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

What do you call a group of black people? You don't You call the cops first.

the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

Q: What did Mr. Spock say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

The Bible

What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

YOLO

Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out your trousers? Your nan.

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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