Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Why was the guy on top of the van It was his funeral

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

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Black Veil Brides.

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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Penis.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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