Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

Black Veil Brides.

How do you determine the population of mexico? Send out a census every 4 years.

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or words that begin with "F" and end in "uck." So you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

minced oaths

I have no ideas.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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