How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

Chuck Norris.

"Up to 50% off."

Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

Kah-________-

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

-When is a door not a door? -Never

whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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