How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

MICHAEL

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A 36 year old Canadian woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops