Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

What's brown and sticky? Poo

Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

Bin Laden comes out of a cave

What happened to the blonde who walked up to the vending machine? She got a snack and went on with her day.

Unflushed Shit...

-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

don't look behind you

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

an amosh person used an electrical appliance

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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