Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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-When is a door not a door? -Never

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

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What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

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im a selling a car

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, cus feminists can't change shit.

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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