How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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Why did the dog die? I beat him with a bat

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Is this a chair?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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