Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

The horse said "nay."

What's worse than being beaten by your Father? Well, it depends.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

What did Billy get for christmas? Nothing he died of lung cancer.

Chicken

Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

Jay Leno: The economy is so bad.. Audience: how bad is it?! Jay Leno: Very bad.

what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

I don't like movies. Because ticket prices are overwhelming.

lick my ballsack.... ok

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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