Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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math test 2=2

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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knock knock go away ok

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Most things, as the Holocaust was a terrible tragedy.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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