My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

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Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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A duckling is following its mother, but gets separated. Noticing that her child is lost the mother duck calls out, and the duckling finds her quickly.

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A woman went out and had a great time with her friends. Then she walked home alone and got viciously raped by 4 large black men.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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YOLO

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

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Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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The World Record For Longest Game of Hide and Seek goes to... Binladin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops