I saw a chameleon. Then it died

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why are they called the melbourne storms? Because you turn 360 degrees and walk away

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops