A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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96

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Have you ever met a black man who wasn't good at basketball? I have, quite regularly.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

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A jew go out of a bar

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Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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